Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Halloween = excuse to act like kids or whores!

So Halloween is fast approaching. I decided it was time to venture to our local stores and check out what they have for the kids to wear. Why are the costumes made out of such cheap material but cost more than an entire outfit. Ok so I shop the Wal-Mart clearance racks and admittedly my outfits don't cost much. Which is why I'm probably dateless still. That or the fact that I don't get out much. Or it could be because I can't fit into a bat girl costume. So says Kaden, I'm sure I mentioned that in an earlier post. He reminded me of the fact when we went down the aisle and he said to me, as he's pointing to the horrible costume that I wouldn't want to wear anyway, "See mommy, you can't fit into that." Well he's right because it was a teen sized medium which means it can fit on a 7 year old under-fed chihuahua. I AM going to be bat girl though! I decided I can be whatever I want. I don't want to be a pencil, I want to be a plush bat girl. Maybe Christian Bale will somehow see me in my sexy bat glasses and want me for his very own! A girl can dream.

Anyway, enough about me.
Although, honestly who wouldn't want more? Huh? Seriously I'm effin awesome.

So 5 shopping trips later the kids now have their costumes! Kaden will be a shadow ninja because it was on sale at the thrift store for 4 dollars. He is happy as a clam because we bought this sweeeeet ninja sword/sai set that you can strap to you back. SHING! As the sword is drawn and Kaden defends humanity from the mysterious Alien monsters or Politicians. Nia will be going as an Alligator. We had a debate about whether it was an alligator or a crocodile. By we, I mean me and myself. I decided crocodiles have fat mouths and this one was an Alligator. Knowing my luck I have that backwards but oh well. I'm the mom and right now I know everything except the days that Kaden has to go to school. Then I know nothing, according to Kaden. Anyway, I let her choose between that costume and the Dalmatian puppy! I was silently urging for the puppy costume in my head because she would be so freakin adorable but alligators and being able to make monster sounds won out in the end. She does have an awesome growl. It causes women to tear up and men to wish that their daughters will be ugly until they are 30 because they can't handle that kind of cuteness.

Those costumes really irk me though. The cutest ones are made out of chiffon and that's it. How the heck is that going to keep a toddler warm? I LOVE fairies. I wanted her to be one but I didn't want her to die because of elemental exposure or lose her wings that are so awesome they Velcro to the back of the little slip of a dress. Velcro wings on a toddler? Puhlease. They won't stay on for more than 5 minutes the whole night. That's if you are going to be indoors. She would have to wear a coat outside that would cover up the whole costume. Waste of money. So no fairy this year. We got the industrial sized version that will allow you to put a jacket on underneath the already very warm costume. She will be a cute little alligator and safe from frostbite as well! Kaden's costume has fake muscles that will aid in insulation while at the same time helping to camouflage the bulky jacket I will be making him wear underneath. Heck of a deal for 4 dollars!

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