Thursday, October 4, 2012

Boss quotes

I decided I needed to start writing down some of the things my boss says. He is hilarious!

  • Did you need the thesaurus to look up different ways to say the word sh*t?
  • Just because it's old, doesn't mean it's worth anything.
  • You can't fire slaves, you can only free them.
  • I have 300 PTO hours saved up, I may just take next month off.
  • In response to how his kids are doing "They're still breathing."
  • When I die, I'm going to have my ashes put in a Fedex package and have all these forwarding addresses so I can travel the world.
  • You should have said Nope We have a double dose of discontent. Thanks for calling.
  • I took a management class on employee appreciation. Thanks for all you do. Consider yourself appreciated.
    • He really does appreciate me, he just likes to be funny.
  • Due to the Festivus pole in the store, I need to request the 23rd off. Otherwise I'll go on strike unless I need to use the bathroom.
Festivus Pole hehe
  • I was going to call him spawn of Satan, but that isn't fair to Satan.
  • I'm going to be famous someday and if you make any money on this, I get dibs.
  • Core purpose: To do as little as possible and still get paid for it.
  • Will you read this and tell me if it sounds too mean, I left out the word a$*hole.
  • He has this middle management philosophy. Middle Management are crap filters. We make the the crap that comes up from the bottom look good to the top and the crap from the top look good to the people at the bottom.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There are SOOOOOO many more of his sayings and they're all so freakin hilarious!!!!!!!! Thanks Natalie for starting this...