Everything happens for a reason. We have the ability and chance to choose for ourselves the path our lives will take. Sometimes the path takes a rocky course that traverses up high mountains and down rocky ravines. We fall into the river and the muck and we struggle to get ourselves out. We ask why would God put these trials in our path or we wonder when we will get a break and things will finally go the way we want them to.
Why did I end up with my ex? Was that supposed to happen? I think it comes to our choices. One, of course, is better than the other and I know I didn't choose correctly. I was too stubborn and I deliberately blinded myself. I KNEW I shouldn't be with him. I KNEW I should have been doing something different and I knew I wasn't doing the things that the Lord would want me to do. I chose to ignore all that and give Jon a chance because I HOPED that things would go the way they were supposed to. Because I had done this, things did go the way they were meant to.
I had something that I needed to learn from that mistake. God can't take away our agency. We suffer for the choices we make or we are blessed for the choices we make. The suffering doesn't have to be needless though as long as we learn and progress from it. Making the same mistake over and over is just stupidity. I wasted a lot of time but we all know the great things that came out of that experience. I AM a better person than I was and I have wonderful children. I am lucky to always have my ex in my life as an example of how things were and could be again if I decide to be stupid and make stupid choices again.
Our trials bring us closer to God. It's sad that those things are what push us in the right direction. I'm grateful for the examples of those that have chosen the right path. I can see the difference that God has made in their lives. I can see the good gifts of the spirit that I want in my life. I see a lot more clearly the path that I need to stay on because I am intimately familiar with the pitfalls. That is one blessing that has come at great expense.
Everything happens for a reason. If we are totally honest with ourselves and have a good moral foundation to rely upon, we don't need to fear. If we have God in our corner to rely upon, we can look towards choices with gladness. We can embrace change and we can continually progress towards the ultimate goal of Eternal life and happiness with Heavenly Father, Jesus, and our families at our side.
I have to give a talk next week in Relief Society. She asked me to spend 5 to 10 minutes talking about the person or experience that has pointed me towards Jesus. All the great examples of righteousness, combined with the experience of not doing the things that the Lord wanted me to do, was a sufficient catalyst for me to choose to go towards Jesus and learning about him and striving to become like him. When I am being Christ-like, I love myself. You can't help loving Jesus because he is our savior and he was perfect. He is a worthy example to emulate and that increases our own worth in our eyes. He loves us no matter what we are or what we choose. Our choices will give him degrees of happiness or sadness though. The more love there is for a person, the more powerful the happy and sad times. God loves us infinitely and Eternally. I want to cause him great joy because he has done all he can for me.