You know you are sexually frustrated if...

If you find yourself typing the following phrases to your regular chat buddies. (You also know you are funny as well)

so I found my mom's stash of triple A batteries

time to google kinky sex ideas!

I think we can stretch it to 4...mins though
those dots are a strategic pause making you think of inches instead of mins
thought I would explain them in case they didn't work

any where else will involve heavy negotiations or alcohol.
well I'm not a genetically mutated freak so I can't think of any other place that is warm and moist since I use deodorant.
if you would like to enlighten me on where your mind is taking you though, feel free.

And you have 2! That doubles the pleasure! (sadly I was talking about knee caps)

Love your vagina so you can show others how

Viagra- You'll never be too old to appreciate it.

"Don't worry, it's a friendly snake." (quote from a little einstein's show that was taken horribly wrong)

4 hours seems so long doesn't it?

hmm that could be sexy if it was done in the right spot.

so I think it would be great to combine both in one interesting flying grease filled blog full of nakedness and love complications.

Yes!

this not being shy thing is FUN! I haven't tried it out before in real life.

I do have sexy toes! They are turning me on!


and I'm trying to guess this guy's flavor of Asian (seriously taken out of context)

I found out what a manscape was yesterday too
it's the process of landscaping your manliness

was pottying but I love you too and that dream is awful! I hope your dreams tonight are peaceful and wet.

is it rude to tell people this when they get a significant other? "Congratulations on your newest acquisition!" (ok that wasn't dirty, just funny)

that's cause he is secretly gay
and also he's not so secretly gay

I'm going to get *name deleted to protect the innocent...ok not so innocent* all worked up about hermaphrodites

yeah I'm so scary, I'm a raging ball of wild fur

ok I'm back
you get front
that may lead to kinky things

it. was. great.

the fact that you compare it to good sex means you haven't had good sex yet, you just think you have.

*Disclaimer* Most of these are taken out of context and my chatting really isn't as sexy as it first appears. It's kind of like looking in your rear-view mirror...

"It's not my fault that most of the things you say can be taken as a sexual innuendo"