Sunday, September 19, 2010

A year review in facebook statuses

I wanted to copy and paste all my facebook statuses for the past year. I thought it would be fun to look back at them. This will probably be a long post. My life has changed a LOT. Last year around this time, I was embarking upon a long spiritual journey. :)

Compliments are free and that's just about all I can afford so deal with it.   (10:56pm)

Dear Facebook friends, When you post your pictures, there are arrows near the share button on your photo. You can turn them so that they face the right way! Now, I'm not trying to be rude I just love looking at your pictures and it makes it a lot more pleasant if I don't have to tilt my head to look at them. I'm not a creepy stalker though. Yeah.   (9:15pm)
Nia- "When I grow up, I'm going to be just like you Mommy. Someday." Now that is a glowing recommendation and a great way to start your Sunday. Time for the primary program! I even have a part :p   (8:32am)
had a great time hanging out with Melaina Minks tonight and Corey Wilkey this afternoon. Great Saturday!   (9:10pm yesterday)
Tarzan was most excellent. My kids were entranced.   (12:02am yesterday)
Yay for dill pickles and going to see Tarzan tonight.   (6:58pm September 17th, 2010)
is currently enjoying Nia's broadway rendition of the first line from I Am a Child of God.   (9:13am September 17th, 2010)
Take some time today and tell someone that they make a difference in your life, I promise that it will make a difference in their's.   (7:59am September 17th, 2010)
is thinking it may be necessary to post a sign, in the fitting rooms, declaring that it isn't a bathroom.   (6:35pm September 16th, 2010)
is a little tired this morning but had a wonderful phone chat last night that makes it totally worth it. Love you Tasia!   (8:12am September 16th, 2010)
Thrift Stores are just awesome.   (2:26pm September 15th, 2010)
Yay for choir starting again and yay for my little sister who is going to be having a girl.   (8:10pm September 14th, 2010)
What is up with all the guys in V-necks lately? Eww   (12:19pm September 13th, 2010)
Is cleaning while her kids pretend to clean their rooms. There is a suspicious amount of giggling coming from that direction. I'm sure the giggling is proportional to the amount of cleaning that isn't getting done.   (6:54pm September 12th, 2010)
my phone is in a safe place where I won't lose it...   (6:11pm September 12th, 2010)
My life was deeply affected by the aftermath of 9/11. I know it is a day that still feels fresh in most people's lives. I'm proud to be an American and I am thinking of all those who suffered through this tragedy and may still be suffering.   (4:44am September 11th, 2010)
is in the market for a new best friend. My old best friend has a fiance now, sheesh the nerve of some people. ;)   (9:56pm September 9th, 2010)
The following book title cracked me up. RIG WARRIOR Eighteen-wheel avenger. In his ten-ton death rig, he's ready to reduce the terrorist butchers to road kill!   (10:59am September 9th, 2010)
At least Bejeweled thinks I'm extraordinary.   (12:19am September 9th, 2010)
Onn Monday, Jon and I were bringing in drinks from the car. Gatorade and powerade. Albertsons had a good sale. Nia told us to tak them all in her room so she could have a party.   (8:12am September 8th, 2010)
I just read this, "A narwhal is the incarnation of awesome." I nodded my head in agreement.   (11:19pm September 7th, 2010)
my children bring me sunshine in an otherwise dreary life. Love love them and their many antics.   (7:40pm September 6th, 2010)
The pickle dancing cashier at Jimmy John's was too young, otherwise, he was a keeper.   (10:38pm September 4th, 2010)
has been working on transitioning from summer clothes layout, to fall/winter clothes layout, at the thrift store. It's already September!! Where did the summer go?   (4:27pm September 4th, 2010)
I'm a mother of two, I work in retail for a non-profit organization that does a lot of good for the community, my eyes are gritty from lack of sleep because of a really good book I started reading last night, I like to sing, and I am a Mormon...(Those ads on the side feel a little politically incorrect but they are catchy)   (8:10am September 4th, 2010)another successful Friday night :p Bejeweled blitz until I can go brain-dead enough to fall asleep. I'm so awesome.   (12:37am September 4th, 2010)

meh   (11:28pm September 3rd, 2010)
at home with a sick boy.   (10:58am September 2nd, 2010)
so this 4 year old boy and I were discussing this bracelet and how when he is older he will buy it for his girlfriend but right now he is in the rookie club when it comes to girls. I laughed so hard.   (9:44pm September 1st, 2010)
it's the 50% off sale today at the hospital thrift store... I don't know if I'm up for it. blegh My body is already sore before I've even gotten out of bed.   (8:00am August 31st, 2010)
has had a great day so far! Went and got a haircut with Nia before dropping her off at her school, she LOVES that kind of stuff. Spent the extra dollar to get my hair shampooed, it was so worth the scalp massage done by a seriously cute guy. I saved 14 dollars at costco on gummy vitamins and rice crispy treats (essentials) and now I'm enjoying a delicious pasta in a quiet house.   (1:17pm August 30th, 2010)
Dear friends, please feel free to vent to me or share whatever you need to get off your chest, happy or sad. I love listening and it takes my mind off of my own problems. Seriously! <3   (8:00pm August 29th, 2010)
I got to sleep in today for a whole 25 more minutes!   (8:26am August 28th, 2010)
My kids are beautiful! Even with crazy morning hair.   (8:03am August 26th, 2010)
wishes she could hold her brand new niece but she is all the way in Reno.   (6:02pm August 25th, 2010)
tonight my feet are sore! I feel like I've climbed 3 trees and played double dutch jump rope with sugar-filled 12 year old giggly girls.   (10:38pm August 24th, 2010)
is a little overwhelmed and wishing that Kaden's teacher would get his IEP already. This homework is going to be the death of us.   (9:44pm August 23rd, 2010)
haha It's so hard to be mad that the kids aren't going to sleep when Nia is singing a song about how much she loves her mommy.   (9:28pm August 17th, 2010)
Dear Cafe Rio Tuesday special, I saved myself for you and it was worth it. Love, Natalie.   (2:12pm August 17th, 2010)
It is going to be a rough day. I can't wait until my boss gets back from his vacation so I can stop killing myself at work. :p I am so sore.   (7:09am August 14th, 2010)
feels like she is facing things alone. Time to get down on my knees and remind myself that I'm never alone.   (9:17pm August 10th, 2010)
it was nice to have my kids back at church with me! I'm glad everything is starting to get back to normal.   (12:24pm August 8th, 2010)
ate a Jimmy John's sandwich for lunch, thanks to my brother! I had to chew it a lot but the extra masticating was worth it.   (3:02pm August 6th, 2010)
Bazinga, my newest ringtone!   (7:59pm August 5th, 2010)
The new mushroom and swiss snack wrap at McDonalds is amazing! I feel so wonderful to actually have a full stomach! I've been starving for days lol. My throat is feeling a lot better today.   (8:28pm August 4th, 2010)
is going to try to go back to work on Wednesday. Wish me luck.   (11:46pm August 3rd, 2010)
is still alive just so everyone knows, although my enthusiasm for life at the moment is a little dim. :p   (11:14pm August 2nd, 2010)
is eating strawberry yogurt (ice cream kind) and it has live cultures too!   (10:24pm July 31st, 2010)
is exceedingly hungry right now.   (3:21pm July 31st, 2010)
Day 4 of the tonsillectomy drama: This has been the worst day for pain so far! It may be because of the cauterizing procedure I had done yesterday. Seriously, I am contemplating starving to death. :p   (8:58pm July 30th, 2010)Kaden said "Mommy! It's raining ice cubes!"   (5:46pm July 30th, 2010)
/whimper   (12:36pm July 30th, 2010)
Grape chloraseptic spray is my new best friend!   (7:28am July 30th, 2010)
aww My son was so worried about me, he asked his Grandma if I was going to die. He's been such a sweet heart this whole time, asking me if I need anything and wanting to cook for me. He brought me in a lap tray for my drinks so I could reach them easier. He did this all on his own.   (10:11pm July 29th, 2010)
became a bleeding statistic tonight. They cauterized it and I'm fine.   (9:08pm July 29th, 2010)
reminder to self: Don't let pain meds wear off...and take them sooner than 4 hours after they wear off if you want to be able to eat anything for dinner.   (4:37pm July 29th, 2010)
FB games help me keep my mind off the pain of swallowing my own spit. :p Sorry for the spam.   (5:19pm July 28th, 2010)
Oh acid reflux, go away so I can lay down and go to sleep! I'm already in enough pain as it is!   (12:35am July 28th, 2010)
is now officially hurting. :p   (9:43pm July 27th, 2010)
is awake after the surgery. It went well. I'm still groggy lol.   (1:59pm July 27th, 2010)
is sick-to-my-stomach nervous for this stupid surgery. Hope I wake up from anesthesia! :p I'll let you all know how the popsicles taste.   (7:05am July 27th, 2010)
is trying to decide what she wants for her last pain-free meal. A week or two of pain anyway.   (6:26pm July 26th, 2010)
will be sleeping in her own bed tonight, bliss!   (10:13pm July 25th, 2010)
stopped in Las Vegas on the way home, for the night. Love my sisters.   (6:40pm July 24th, 2010)
Today, I went to the beach and we couldn't swim because of sting rays. We went to a different beach later so that we could frolic in the waves! We had sand everywhere! MLIA (in honor of MLIA status day)   (12:38am July 24th, 2010)
is going to Sea World with her kids tomorrow! They are going to love it!!   (10:08pm July 21st, 2010)
is leaving for San Diego tomorrow! YAY!   (10:20pm July 20th, 2010)
is on vacation and she can't sleep in! The kids are still sleeping away though.   (8:49am July 19th, 2010)
Can't believe 9 years has passed since I had my first child. Time is going by too quickly.   (1:52pm July 18th, 2010)
is in California and she is so happy to see her kids.   (5:00pm July 17th, 2010)
Quote of the night: I can eat as many beans as I want, I'm single.   (11:56pm July 16th, 2010)
Quote of the day at work: Well I'm not worried about another ice age at the moment.   (5:00pm July 16th, 2010)
Sorcerer's apprentice was pretty great.   (10:19pm July 15th, 2010)
Tonight is especially difficult.   (11:59pm July 13th, 2010)
wishes she could sleep all the way through the night without waking up 15 times.   (7:22am July 13th, 2010)
Thinks that the week, before vacation, sucks.   (3:41pm July 12th, 2010)
is so grateful that church is over and she survived, judging by the comments and hugs, I think it went well.   (12:16pm July 11th, 2010)
I wish I knew all the right words to say all the time. The words that are needed to help heal a broken heart or a troubled soul. Sometimes all that I can do is let someone know I care.   (12:03am July 11th, 2010)
is missing her two favorite people in the whole world.   (9:51am July 10th, 2010)
is feeling dangerous! I'm going to wear a white shirt to work today at the Thrift Store! Ok maybe not.   (9:06am July 9th, 2010)
This whole tonsil thing is kind of scary. They are attached to me and I to them. We've been through a lot the last 30 years. That is better than a lot of marriages!   (9:03am July 9th, 2010)
oi   (8:09am July 9th, 2010)
loves her sister for being such a bright ray of pessimistic sunshine! ;)   (9:00am July 8th, 2010)
likes talking herself because she knows at least someone is listening!   (10:42pm July 7th, 2010)
had a fun experience trying to sing with a numb throat, the Dr. holding my tongue, and a camera making me gag. It was cool to see the video though.   (12:30pm July 7th, 2010)
I miss the you I used to know.   (9:48pm July 6th, 2010)
has a talk in sacrament meeting next Sunday. I don't know what I was thinking when I nodded and said yes. I haven't talked in church since I was in Young Women's. EEP! I'm seriously scared. :p   (8:26pm July 5th, 2010)
has family in town that she hasn't seen for months and she has to work tomorrow. :( Also, without my kids, I feel like a third of a person.   (8:00pm July 4th, 2010)
blah for working on Saturdays. BLAH I tell you.   (8:10am July 3rd, 2010)
kids made it safely. I can relax now. Time for a hot bath!   (10:36pm July 2nd, 2010)
may have overdone it today while loading up the truck with the leftover free Friday items. It's hot out there. Fyi   (3:19pm July 2nd, 2010)
is having a lot of anxiety, at least work helps keep my mind off things.   (9:16am July 2nd, 2010)
My skittle wrapper didn't win.   (11:08pm July 1st, 2010)
last night I dreamed about work and sorting clothes and things, all night long! Today I am still sleepy and sore.   (8:21am July 1st, 2010)
has been having weird dreams all week which is weird because I usually don't remember my dreams.   (8:37am June 30th, 2010)
Best droid app ever! Where's my droid? Turns off the silent mode and rings! You activate it with a text! Haha I'll never lose it again!! Unless my battery is dead that is...   (8:36pm June 29th, 2010)
Today I fixed Nia's wand with my purple duct tape. She saw the roll and asked if that was the purple ducky tape. lol   (10:50pm June 28th, 2010)
had a great day with the kids so far. I'm going to miss them so much while they are gone for 2 weeks. Looking forward to our vacation after that though! Every day I feel lucky to be the mother of such great kids.   (3:35pm June 28th, 2010)
had a fun lunch with Tasia Ariel Stubbs. Love you!   (2:47pm June 28th, 2010)
It's kind of funny that one of my moms texts more than I do. Maybe I need to spam my contacts haha!   (8:05pm June 27th, 2010)
Conversation with Kaden yesterday. Kaden: "Mom, I just saw a grandma on a motorcycle!" Me: "That is awesome!" Kaden: "I think that is BETTER than awesome!"   (9:18pm June 26th, 2010)
is excited to hang out with Theresa Quinones Smith YAY!   (9:39am June 26th, 2010)
went to the Dr. today to get meds for adult ADD. After work, my car wasn't where I parked it. I think someone is messing with me!   (11:03pm June 25th, 2010)
got a cheap extra battery for my phone. I love the internet. It didn't come from Hong Kong and as far as I can tell it is identical to the other battery. I think I am safe from an explosion injury.   (12:47pm June 24th, 2010)
When bad things happen to good people, it's a trial and we will become better people when we conquer it!! When bad things happen to bad people, it's karma. The things you think of when you are awake in the wee hours of the morning.   (4:17am June 24th, 2010)
is getting burned out. Time for ice cream perhaps!   (12:11am June 23rd, 2010)
can't sleep and can't get stuff out of my head.   (1:35am June 22nd, 2010)
is having a hard time with a lot of things but tomorrow is another day!   (10:08pm June 21st, 2010)
Monday is poopy because it always ruins your weekends by abruptly ending them!   (8:27am June 21st, 2010)
just got back from a fun day in Las Vegas. Took the kids to adventure dome. I love roller coasters!   (11:30pm June 19th, 2010)
I just want to reiterate the previous brother status, he is the best! He took my car to get the oil changed today. :)   (10:38am June 18th, 2010)
Last night, instead of saying cross my heart hope to die, Kaden said "I promise and I won't starve to death."   (9:13am June 18th, 2010)
meh   (9:11pm June 17th, 2010)
has the best brother in the world!   (7:34pm June 17th, 2010)
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and help them become what they are capable of being. -Goethe   (12:51pm June 16th, 2010)
figured out how to set up her files in her phone so she can have songs as ringtones! YAY I love google btw.   (7:22am June 16th, 2010)
"Skype is for pretty people and gamers." Quote of the day by Natalie   (10:50pm June 15th, 2010)
is feeling forlorn tonight. I kind of like the word forlorn but I don't like feeling it.   (10:32pm June 15th, 2010)
LOVES when Nia requests a lullaby before bed. We did a lovely rendition of "Into the West". :)   (10:10pm June 14th, 2010)
Likes her phone again.   (2:52pm June 14th, 2010)
Can't figure out how to text with her new phone.   (10:13am June 14th, 2010)
got a new phone. My number should be ported over within an hour!! Excited not to have to carry around 2 phones. :p   (7:39am June 14th, 2010)
Oh, why do I let myself let go, of Hands that painted the stars and hold tears that fall?And the pride of my heart makes me forget, it's not me but You, who makes the heart beat, I'm lost without You, And dying from me.   (10:08pm June 13th, 2010)
washed the marshmallow out of her hair and no longer smells like campfire. Good times!   (12:03am June 13th, 2010)
Party tonight for my bff! I'm excited, I've missed him.   (6:12pm June 12th, 2010)
likes circus peanuts the best when they aren't soft.   (10:58pm June 11th, 2010)
is always amazed at how freely my customers give compliments. I've never worked in a place with these kind of shoppers. One woman brought tears with her words.   (12:04pm June 11th, 2010)
really loves her job. How lucky is that?   (10:22am June 10th, 2010)
had such a great experience with M&S turquoise. They evaluated and polished up a few valuable jewelry donations. All at no charge!   (3:26pm June 9th, 2010)
is grateful her boss is back. :)   (12:43pm June 9th, 2010)
Awesome t-shirt of the day that a customer was wearing: girls like guys with skills. It had a picture of a video game controller.   (2:47pm June 7th, 2010)
is just a little frustrated with things at the moment.   (11:48pm June 6th, 2010)
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa   (11:59pm June 5th, 2010)
decided that the life of a spy would be a lonely existence. She has enough of that already. Luckily her beautiful children help alleviate that to an extent...FB helps too. :p   (10:00pm June 4th, 2010)
is stressing a bit because her boss is on vacation! Hopefully I'll make it through the next 4 workdays in one piece.   (8:32am June 4th, 2010)
My phone is found. Fb is being weird and did something to my last update. Anyway, it was upstairs and I shouldn't have heard it through the floor.   (9:36am June 2nd, 2010)
lost her phone. It's on vibrate and I can hear it, I just can't find it. I guess it's not a big loss since I don't get phone calls much or texts. :p   (8:54am June 2nd, 2010)
Thank you to the service men and their families for all that they have sacrificed. Time away from your family is time you'll never get back. God bless the families of the soldiers that have died for our freedoms. Thank you just doesn't seem adequate.   (5:22pm May 31st, 2010)
had a Japanese tourist come into the store today. He visited a few days ago and keeps buying souvenirs. Apparently he came back because of me. He thinks I'm really pretty and that I have a ton of boyfriends and he didn't believe me when I said I didn't. Hopefully he doesn't come back tomorrow and propose. :p   (10:12pm May 27th, 2010)
Nia told me I looked like a princess and that my hair was amazing. It's nice to hear that from someone. I think I'll keep her.   (5:08pm May 27th, 2010)
congratulations to Ashley Ellsworth, Kelsey Jetter, Danieletta Moyes, Alisa Larson, Jessica Bilek, and Amanda Wright. Love you all.   (9:05pm May 26th, 2010)
sometimes craves a little more excitement in her life.   (7:34pm May 26th, 2010)
Kaden dissected an owl pellet yesterday. He brought home the treasures he found. Eww!   (8:21am May 26th, 2010)
Tasia Stubbs, I just wanted you to know how amazing you are and that I love you!   (10:58pm May 25th, 2010)
Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings... We simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We are flexible like that.   (4:59pm May 25th, 2010)
Amy swallowed a chip sideways. Poor girl.   (7:23pm May 24th, 2010)
Oh Monday, please show mercy.   (8:46am May 24th, 2010)
Today at church, Nia and the teacher drew what she was thankful for. Apparently she is very thankful for ears.   (11:43pm May 23rd, 2010)
is a little bit frustrated.   (10:36pm May 23rd, 2010)
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” -Mother Teresa   (1:58pm May 23rd, 2010)
Every time I go to search for something on Google, I get distracted by the dang pacman game. I can't even remember what I wanted to look for!   (10:44pm May 22nd, 2010)
loved singing in the concert but hates heels and nylons. :p   (9:35pm May 22nd, 2010)
had an amazing time recording!   (11:52am May 22nd, 2010)
Recording in the morning, birthday party for Emmett in the afternoon, then a choir concert that evening. Saturday is going to be busy busy. :)   (11:27pm May 21st, 2010)
Weird outfit of the day: towel and wet swimsuit   (1:38pm May 21st, 2010)
Congratulations to the upcoming graduates! I love you all and I'll miss you as you move on to the next phase of your life. I know you will all be amazing at whatever you do! <3   (11:00pm May 20th, 2010)
is a dork. She ordered a ring that said <3 (less than three) hah   (11:33pm May 19th, 2010)
Everything happens for a reason.   (11:22pm May 19th, 2010)
oi! That's the sound Tuesday night heading into Wednesday makes.   (11:57pm May 18th, 2010)
wishes she could go to Mr. Lister's Opus. :(   (11:37pm May 18th, 2010)
"Do mi so do" That's the sound Tuesday makes.   (7:35am May 18th, 2010)
Do you ever wonder why you have all those people on your friend's list when the bulk of them never even talk to you? I usually just hope they play the same FB apps as me.   (10:56pm May 17th, 2010)
haha read this on a website. After watching a ClearBlue pregnancy test meter commercial that says 1 in 4 women can misread a pregnancy test, I've decided that those 25% don't need to have children. MLIA.   (10:01pm May 17th, 2010)
blech. That's the Monday sound!   (7:59am May 17th, 2010)
If I loved you, word's wouldn't come in an easy way.   (9:42pm May 16th, 2010)
When you only have two or three friends, it's easy to get lonely when they are too busy with life to talk/text to you.   (5:56pm May 16th, 2010)
is going to a rehearsal and then off to work!   (8:32am May 15th, 2010)
Sometimes you need friends to have fun with so you can just forget about stuff.   (6:46pm May 13th, 2010)
Oh happy day! Nia pooped in the toilet!   (8:42am May 13th, 2010)
We have been trying to potty train Nia forever! Pull-ups don't work. They are too much like diapers. We made great progress this week though!   (8:46pm May 12th, 2010)
found her extra sunshine through song.   (10:41pm May 11th, 2010)
needs a little more sunshine in her life.   (9:02am May 11th, 2010)
had a super fun day with Nia. We went shopping and got haircuts from Lauren Holly Hunt. Then we went to applebees for lunch!   (2:13pm May 10th, 2010)
So Kaden was up singing with the primary during the prelude music today. He's a little unsure of the words to the mother's day songs they were singing. It gets to a part where it says Mother I love you and he points at me all cool like. Cracked me up and touched my heart.   (11:00pm May 9th, 2010)
Don't worry, someday this will all be worth it!   (10:12pm May 9th, 2010)
Curses to ice cream and exes!   (10:04am May 8th, 2010)
VERY SERIOUS WARNING: Facebook now automatically scans your brain through your monitor. To block, go to Kitchen Cabinets remove box of Aluminum Foil. Wrap foil around your head, stay calm & breathe through your left nostril. This is a serious problem & has been confirmed by my cousin's neighbor's son's baby's mama and her pet hamster. Copy and paste as your status & SAVE YOUR FRIENDS!   (8:50am May 8th, 2010)
is truly grateful to be a mom to my 2 beautiful children. They make all the pain in life worth it.   (9:33pm May 6th, 2010)
has a burning, stinging, itchy face. She's also crabby because of said ailments! That was the longest 16 minutes and 40 seconds of my life! It burned the whole time and I couldn't see and I just had to sit there. The hour before wasn't pleasant either. Oh well, at least it's good for me!   (6:50pm May 6th, 2010)
Getting a face treatment today. It's supposed to kill any pre-cancer cells. Hope I don't look too icky.   (8:10am May 6th, 2010)
Speaking of bad curvature, convex vs. concave, I got myself a mother's day present. See's Gift certificate! yum   (11:41pm May 4th, 2010)
Nia and I saw a hot air balloon today. She said, "Mommy! Maybe there are carebears in it!"   (10:27pm May 3rd, 2010)
blech.   (7:42am May 3rd, 2010)
Today at work feels like am eternity. Not in a way of unending joy but just the unending part.   (3:54pm May 1st, 2010)
Thank you, friend, for being the answer to my unspoken prayer.   (11:21pm April 27th, 2010)
You are on my mind and in my prayers. I'm sorry that life keeps throwing poop at you.   (10:46pm April 26th, 2010)
Did you know it's pretzle day? Nia and I got free pretzles at pretzle time for singing twinkle twinkle little star. Haha   (1:21pm April 26th, 2010)
Surprise! It's like finding 3 nuts in your peanut!   (9:48pm April 24th, 2010)
Icky donation of the day: underwear with the pad still stuck to it.   (11:02am April 24th, 2010)
had fun singing last night. Oh how I missed alto!   (9:19am April 21st, 2010)
To the volunteers past and present from the Gift Shop. I miss all your cute faces!! I hope your lives are splendid. Much love from me.   (10:23pm April 19th, 2010)
is grateful for the few friends in her life that keep her from being too lonely. I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow!   (9:28pm April 18th, 2010)
One time when I was at church, the first councilor was conducting. When he announced our rest hymn, which was Let us all Press On, he said that we would sing Let us all Pass On. The bishop probably laughed the hardest.   (11:04pm April 17th, 2010)
where's 70 children when you need them?   (2:20am April 17th, 2010)
Nia wipes kisses off. Today my mom asked her why. She said "So I can get more kisses!" awww   (10:25pm April 14th, 2010)
God will sort it all out. Just love everyone.   (10:42pm April 12th, 2010)
is just trying to get through each day, one at a time.   (12:02am April 12th, 2010)
DRMC Hospital Thrift Store has 61 fans! Awesomeness! I absolutely adore my job there and I know I make a difference.   (11:04pm April 9th, 2010)
Tax season- The one time a year it's actually awesome to be a single mom. :p   (8:56am April 9th, 2010)
feels so good after singing today. I missed it. I also missed that A they wanted me to sing... geeze, time to work on my range.   (11:07pm April 6th, 2010)
We are so different. How wonderful and intriguing!   (10:42pm March 29th, 2010)
There are 50 fans now of the DRMC Hospital Thrift Store page! That is totally AWESOME! Thanks everyone. :)   (9:12pm March 29th, 2010)
is using her laser scissors to cut out the pictures for her primary lesson! haha   (10:53pm March 27th, 2010)
We take so many things for granted. Like the ability to talk and having 2 ears! I still have 2 ears at least.   (11:33pm March 25th, 2010)
Sometimes I read the status messages in a petulant 3 year old voice. Kids crack me up when they talk in third person.   (8:59am March 25th, 2010)
has an audition tomorrow and she is losing her voice. :(   (9:47pm March 22nd, 2010)
Sadly, not everyone has a happy ending in their story. Or a happy beginning and middle. The most that some people can hope for are happy moments. Be thankful for all that you have. Life is too short to wish for things to be better. Enjoy what you DO have NOW!   (2:33am March 22nd, 2010)
thinks it is amazing that as a mother you can go from knowing everything to knowing nothing at random times during the day.   (7:36pm March 18th, 2010)
What are some of your pet peeves?   (11:14pm March 14th, 2010)
Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and they are right. It just means you value the relationship more than your ego. -I don't know who said it but I thought it was awesome   (10:37am March 13th, 2010)
Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine. -Paper   (10:47pm March 12th, 2010)
is going to tackle the dreaded pine wood derby car today! Wish me luck.   (9:35am March 12th, 2010)
dear Corey Wilkey and Sam Anderson. You are very inspiring bloggers and I am going to endeavor to write a flippin entry in my dust gathering blog tonight. Thank you fellows and that is all.   (6:08pm March 11th, 2010)
"At least you have both ears. You have to keep everything in perspective." -Me   (10:31pm March 8th, 2010)
has Thursday and Friday off this week to spend with the kids. I'm excited!   (7:38pm March 8th, 2010)
had a great time in Las Vegas! Apples to apples is definitely one of my all time favorite games. Never a dull moment when you play with witty people!   (10:25pm March 7th, 2010)
has nicely decorated car windows. Apparently a hottie drives my car and I didn't even know it! Sneaky hottie ninjas.   (12:11am March 5th, 2010)
will be done working in the Gift Shop after next week. It hasn't been fun leaving behind all those volunteers that have come to mean so much to me over the years. I love you girls and Luis! Stay in touch please. :)   (10:12pm March 3rd, 2010)
“We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. And people still wonder why some are afraid when told they are loved.” -unknown   (9:23am March 2nd, 2010)
thinks everyone should use the Harry Potter raspberry that she made up z:p.   (6:36pm March 1st, 2010)
Just saw When in Rome. Great movie!   (10:43pm February 27th, 2010)
really does like herself. Of course there are always things to improve on. It keeps us going in a forward motion and that matters!   (10:39am February 25th, 2010)
Name that movie: What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and do the hula?   (10:04am February 25th, 2010)
It's almost Friday. We can do this!   (8:04am February 25th, 2010)
is glad she cracks herself up. Constant entertainment since I can't get away from myself!   (6:10pm February 24th, 2010)
was doing so well and now everything is thrown for a loop. How can something so innocent change our emotional equilibrium so dramatically?   (5:15pm February 23rd, 2010)
My rental car is sweet! I hope it takes a long time to fix my car haha.   (3:14pm February 22nd, 2010)
Oh Purple! Thank you for being such a wonderful color! I heart you.   (11:54pm February 21st, 2010)
"But Earth has some of my favorite things, like cookies and oxygen."   (7:33pm February 21st, 2010)
This morning, Kaden told me my curling iron was bad for my hair and that it made my hair lmoltershale. He then proceeded to try and get me to get an in-styler.   (8:32am February 21st, 2010)
HAHA Kaden and Nia are playing with play-dough and he randomly blurts out, "I'm going to make a WHOLE ARMY of DUCKS!"   (6:38pm February 20th, 2010)
is a little unprepared for the pinewood derby car my son brought home today. I'm so out of my comfort zone with this scout stuff!   (11:20pm February 19th, 2010)
HAHA as Shaun White plays air guitar to the national anthem.   (9:40pm February 18th, 2010)
Ah Kettle corn how I love thee! Sweet and salty at the same time.   (9:37pm February 18th, 2010)
Our imperfections make us the unique individuals that we are and are the reason why we are so interesting, love-able, and human. How we deal with and overcome our weaknesses show our strength of character.   (10:12am February 18th, 2010)
Uh oh! From the age of thirty, humans gradually begin to shrink in size. I'm doomed.   (11:34pm February 15th, 2010)
Thank you for caring about my life and being there for me even if it was just a small chat to ask me how I've been or to tell me hi. I have some good friends that make getting through tough times a little easier. The stress is slowly abating and life is getting back to normal. I know I'm silly and there are so many out there who are worse off than I am. I need to keep remembering that and stop focusing on myself. :)   (12:25am February 15th, 2010)
hates that she makes typos when updating her status with her phone. :p   (6:23pm February 14th, 2010)
was glad to hang out with Skyler Jewell. Friends make stupid holidays more bearable. :)   (1:04am February 14th, 2010)
was watching the winter olympics. Now trying not to speed.   (10:49pm February 13th, 2010)
is at work today. Bummer. She able to have yummy coconut soup from Benja's though!   (1:55pm February 13th, 2010)
loves her kids so much. Kaden made up a song about Buddy the dog today and now Nia is blasting one note over and over again on a purple recorder and singing her own little song she made up. So cute!   (8:59am February 10th, 2010)
Cuddly blanket and book weather.   (9:19pm February 9th, 2010)
misses her fb app toolbar on the bottom.   (2:48am February 9th, 2010)
Bazinga!   (11:20am February 7th, 2010)
feels like she is getting sick, the stress may be doing her in. :p   (9:08am February 6th, 2010)
was in a fender bender today. Didn't get hurt and not my fault but my poor car suffered for it. I'm ready to hide from life for a while.   (6:43pm February 4th, 2010)
apparently prefers geeks, even in her dreams!   (5:54pm February 3rd, 2010)
copy and paste this status if You know someone who is an AWESOME mom! Someone that doesn't give up even when their kids are non-compliant and cause eye-ticking! Thank that mom for doing her best to raise up children that won't turn into psychopathic killers someday. Thanks Marie Oliver Peterson for all you do!   (9:42pm February 2nd, 2010)
thinks the FB trendy status things are fun, especially when you are at your wit's end and just simply cannot think of a witty thing to post.   (9:28pm February 2nd, 2010)
needs an awesome status message that will cause laughter, insight, and love to those that read it! Pretend this one did that cause my brain won't work tonight. Thanks!   (12:22am February 2nd, 2010)
hates that texting has become the number 1 way of communicating. There isn't enough punctuation in the world to make up for hearing a voice or being face to face with a person. Take some time out of texting and typing and use the phone for what it was invented for! ;) This isn't aimed at anyone, just something I've been thinking about.   (6:52pm January 31st, 2010)
sometimes wonders if it is all worth it. :p   (9:39pm January 30th, 2010)
just got done taking Kaden to the dr. He now has 3 stitches in his finger. This week has been exhausting.   (11:33am January 28th, 2010)
Turns out it was cancer after all. Good thing it's gone!   (3:08pm January 27th, 2010)
is pretty sure her incision is infected...that's what she gets for putting toothpaste on it by accident.   (7:56pm January 26th, 2010)
is off to work, again. Thanks work for filling up the fun part of my day with work... :p   (10:43am January 26th, 2010)
realized today that it's hard to keep 5 year old focused on primary lessons and they say the most random things!   (9:59pm January 24th, 2010)
When all your friends ditch you, remember there are always books to be read!   (8:30pm January 23rd, 2010)
It sucks being so funny when it hurts to laugh! I read that the average person laughs 15 times a day. I'm way above average in that category. :p   (7:23pm January 22nd, 2010)
got 30 stitches in her face and is now minus a birthmark. Good times :p   (2:45pm January 22nd, 2010)
The things in life that are worth the most are the ones that you work for the most.   (7:44am January 21st, 2010)
You never know what tomorrow will bring. Tell everyone in your life how you feel about them. They may be gone before you know it. :)   (6:01pm January 20th, 2010)
thinks life is too short to waste it being too scared to experience it.   (3:22pm January 20th, 2010)
When simply being with someone makes up for all the sacrifices, you know they are a keeper. Hold on tight and don't let go.   (10:47pm January 19th, 2010)
loves reading and listening to the rain.   (10:00pm January 19th, 2010)
has mostly weird friends. The ones that aren't weird are nice. Some are both! Some are my friend's because I'M nice. Which category do you belong in? ;)   (10:53am January 15th, 2010)
Natalie's quote of the day "f your stalker lives so far away, that's good. Then it's just flattering. They can't actually hunt you down and kidnap you for basement experiments in pain and tickle torture."   (5:03am January 14th, 2010)
wants her replacement in the gift shop to be hired already! grrr   (9:53pm January 12th, 2010)
It's WAYBACK WEEK!!!!!! RETRO RETRO Change your profile pic to a picture of yourself when you were young!! Copy and paste this and share in the fun :)   (9:17am January 12th, 2010)
Ladies, your red, black,pink, blue, white, butterflied, cheetah/zebra printed, and clear or nude bra colors made the channel 4 SLC news tonight. Facebook doesn't know who started it going but the Susan B Kolman foundation says it was a great way to raise awareness for breast cancer. Way to go! Post this on your walls and spread the word again!!   (9:25pm January 10th, 2010)
just finished the Lost Symbol. I really loved it. :)   (6:39pm January 10th, 2010)
thinks that life can be funny sometimes. HA HA life HA HA! :p   (9:58am January 8th, 2010)
translucent leopard rosettes   (10:29pm January 7th, 2010)
turquoise   (10:16am January 7th, 2010)
lost her wireless mouse. Guess that wire is good for something!   (11:11pm January 3rd, 2010)
is cancer free! YAY :)   (9:44pm December 31st, 2009)
got a great flair! Thanks Kristen Hazlet! I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome!   (10:04pm December 30th, 2009)
there is no charge for awesomeness, or projectile vomit.   (10:13pm December 29th, 2009)
received her first real calling in church! Scary! Primary kids are cute though so it should be ok.   (10:03pm December 29th, 2009)
Oh inventory, how I hate thee.   (9:07am December 29th, 2009)
Kaden's baptism is on Saturday at 5:30pm. :)   (8:42am December 28th, 2009)
Kaden just informed me that European is a big jar of dinosaur pee. Haha   (7:42pm December 27th, 2009)
is so glad to have her children back! Thank you Cripps clan for taking good care of them.   (7:21pm December 26th, 2009)
loved Sherlock Holmes!   (10:35pm December 25th, 2009)
Merry Christmas to all my lovely friends and family! Don't worry you are all lovely, you can't sneak out of that one.   (1:05pm December 24th, 2009)
has to get gas for her car but she has to listen to the rest of fireflies.   (11:20pm December 23rd, 2009)
is grateful for the holiday ugly sweater parties! It gets rid of the crap sweaters at the thrift store.   (2:43pm December 23rd, 2009)
isn't feeling the Christmas spirit. She's a good fake though to customers!   (9:06am December 22nd, 2009)
misses her children.   (8:48am December 21st, 2009)
wants to thank Austin McDonald and his lovely girlfriend Tracee for coming to watch her sing in church today! You are the best!   (2:20pm December 20th, 2009)
is adrift.   (10:03pm December 18th, 2009)
is available for good clean fun in the evenings after she is off work! No kids to worry about. You know you want to hang out!   (8:59am December 18th, 2009)
is glad her face doesn't hurt as bad today. I think I was in denial thinking that getting a hole poked in my head would be easy and painless. At least today I'll be able to laugh with no achey side-effects! Happy Friday everyone!   (7:53am December 18th, 2009)
had a babopsy. It's good that her twin isn't unborn.   (12:23pm December 17th, 2009)
Someone came to visit me at work today! My boss mentioned that they were about my age and good looking. ALL my friends are good looking, sheesh! She did narrow it down by mentioning a goatee and glasses. If anyone knows the mystery person that came to say hi to me, let me know so I can return the favor!   (12:37am December 16th, 2009)
has a dr appointment tomorrow to get her birth-mark by her eye removed. Sad! Now how will people tell Amy and I apart. ;)   (7:10pm December 15th, 2009)
has a solo in church this weekend. Pray for her cause her knees will be knocking.   (10:37am December 15th, 2009)
isn't looking forward to the weekend for once. It sucks not having kids the week before Christmas. Guess she needs to learn how to share better. :p   (9:05am December 14th, 2009)
loves when her 3 year old daughter talks to her so seriously. She is so darn cute.   (9:36am December 10th, 2009)
is shooting for the first Saturday in January for Kaden's baptism.   (9:30pm December 6th, 2009)
is so excited to go to church this Sunday! Time is going too slow.   (10:22am December 4th, 2009)
Kaden woke up cranky today. I offered to make him cinnamon toast to cheer him up and he said, "Hmph, you always try to make me happy when I don't want to be." I think that's one of the nicest things he has said to me!   (9:07am December 1st, 2009)
Kaden informed me that animals with sharp teeth are carnivals. Lol   (6:47pm November 28th, 2009)
is working at the Gift Shop at the hospital. It's so laid back and slow here that I forget that it is Black Friday!   (10:54am November 27th, 2009)
had a wonderful night filled with laughter, friends, and family. It doesn't get much better than that. So very thankful.   (12:00am November 27th, 2009)
I'm thankful for my two beautiful, sweet, funny, children and for my family that is always there for me through thick and thin. Happy Thanksgiving to all my family and friends! I'm so blessed to have you all in my life.   (5:20am November 26th, 2009)
wishes Jimmy Johns was open, she is craving a #10.   (11:38pm November 24th, 2009)
Today, I had to volunteer at the hospital gift shop for a couple of hours which is usually a really boring job. About an hour into working, an old man runs in. He starts looking around frantically and I asked if he needed help. His response? "YEAH! My grandson's going to find me and I'm not letting a 7 year old beat me at hide-and-seek!!" I let him hide behind the counter for the rest of my shift. MLIA   (10:06pm November 24th, 2009)
is trying to fix herself. One day at a time.   (10:12pm November 22nd, 2009)
can we fix it?   (11:55pm November 20th, 2009)
read on MLIA that facebook has an upside down language option. How cool!   (11:20pm November 19th, 2009)
is patiently waiting for the shirt woot to update so she can go to sleep!   (10:28pm November 18th, 2009)
thinks it is funny how dramatic children can be. Apparently you can ruin their life by making them put pants on before breakfast.   (8:29am November 18th, 2009)
watched UP with my baby girl before work. What an excellent and cute movie!   (10:22am November 17th, 2009)
isn't old until peeing her pants becomes involuntary...   (6:02pm November 16th, 2009)
went bowling, dancing, and met some fun people. Great night!   (1:59am November 15th, 2009)
wants to thank all her friends that she can be herself around. Self-editing isn't fun!   (8:50am November 13th, 2009)
thinks it's interesting that a bunch of her weird family members made facebook accounts...uh if you are related to me and reading this, pretend it doesn't apply to you! ;)   (4:02pm November 10th, 2009)
New fav movie quote: What is the simple bite on the buttocks among friends?   (10:06am November 9th, 2009)
YAY for Peace -My scripture of the week- D&C 59:23 But learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.   (9:42pm November 8th, 2009)
found out that policemen are bored at 4am after getting pulled over twice on her way home. Apparently the rear license plate light was burned out.   (12:06pm November 7th, 2009)
Ain't that a kick in the head. I guess a curse isn't what it used to be.   (10:15am November 6th, 2009)
keeps getting reminded that she won't be in her 20s much longer. Thanks. :p   (8:59am November 6th, 2009)
loves you and not only from the bathroom.   (10:10pm November 5th, 2009)
is grateful for the Gospel since she has a hard time operating without hope.   (7:14pm November 3rd, 2009)
is going to take a break from fb drama for a bit. Love ya all and good luck with your lives.   (10:25pm November 2nd, 2009)
Hello!!   (12:10am October 31st, 2009)
is a little worried that her hair follicles hurt because of the sudden onslaught of headachy-ness!   (10:47pm October 29th, 2009)
Everybody does NOT have a water buffalo!   (9:45am October 29th, 2009)
quote of the day - Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had I been able to live without you? -Cleopatra VII   (7:04pm October 27th, 2009)
Lol Kaden just said, 'my life was just fine before green beans!'   (8:33pm October 25th, 2009)
is glad she was able to visit her grandma in the hospital. Hope it's just a medication issue.   (1:29pm October 24th, 2009)
isn't confused anymore thanks Matt Kress!   (12:28am October 24th, 2009)
favorite scripture of the day D&C 29:39 And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves; for if they never should have bitter they could not know the sweet   (10:11pm October 23rd, 2009)
is a little confused. :p Nothing new right?   (7:19pm October 23rd, 2009)
forgot her phone at home today!   (4:30pm October 22nd, 2009)
A best friend is someone you can talk to every day, have nothing to say, and still are able to fill the conversation up. Sometimes you try and figure out what the heck you talked about and all you recall is a song about a douche...   (5:30pm October 21st, 2009)
so far I'm using my day off time wisely. I'm trying to teach Nia that light sabers don't make a shing sound. We are working on doing light saber fighting sounds now.   (11:28am October 20th, 2009)
called in sick to work today. Not for herself though! I think Nia and I both need some rest. Lets see if she will comply haha.   (10:48am October 20th, 2009)
doesn't feel all that great today. :(   (9:24am October 19th, 2009)
sang in Relief Society today. It wasn't bad!   (10:00pm October 18th, 2009)
Today, my friend ask me if Mormons celebrate Christmas, because I am Mormon. I told her that we don't, but we celebrate Nomrom (Mormon backwards), just as a joke. She believed me, even when I told her about the ceremonial green jello. She will be coming to celebrate with me on December 27th. I am so excited. MLIA   (3:49pm October 17th, 2009)
thinks that Saturdays at Costco can drive you insane.   (2:42pm October 17th, 2009)
has started to write a book! It will probably end up just being a long blog entry but my goals are starting high!   (2:33am October 17th, 2009)
My little girl turns 3 today. She has definitely kept life interesting with her insatiable curiosity, boundless enthusiasm, and her wonderful little made up songs.   (8:05am October 13th, 2009)
thinks there is a fine line between low self-esteem and being humble. :p   (7:33pm October 12th, 2009)
Let go and let God.   (6:34pm October 12th, 2009)
is eating SpongeBob shaped cheez-its and drinking Diet Dr. Pepper. That's what I get for staying up so late!   (1:51am October 12th, 2009)
has had a fun weekend mostly. Missionaries, birthday cake, singing, church, painting prayer rocks, and watching My Turn on Earth. :)   (6:21pm October 11th, 2009)
is sad that the adversary wants to tear her family apart and is trying very hard to.   (11:09pm October 10th, 2009)
had a long day at work and ended it all with a trip to instacare. Nia had 3 stitches right next to her eye. Daredevil and clumsy don't always mix well.   (10:47pm October 9th, 2009)
ate dessert first for lunch today! I needed it lol.   (4:13pm October 8th, 2009)
it's funny how simple acknowledgement, or lack of, from someone can have such effects on another.   (11:58pm October 7th, 2009)
has nothing left to give. Please call back in 3 to 7 days.   (9:33pm October 7th, 2009)
Did you know that facebook is available in 70 languages? I didn't because I was getting spammed with single dating site ads. That will teach me to set my status to single.   (5:49pm October 7th, 2009)
is a little unsettled.   (5:08pm October 6th, 2009)
likes long walks, especially when they are taken by those who annoy me...   (11:01pm October 4th, 2009)
"Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you Humble, Success keeps you Glowing But Only Friends Keep You Going"   (6:18pm October 3rd, 2009)
is eating a delicious personal pan pizza made by the cafeteria! Sausage, mushrooms, and ranch instead of tomato sauce!!   (12:03pm October 3rd, 2009)
is at work on Saturday. I forgot how poopy that was! Listening to Conference though helps.   (11:20am October 3rd, 2009)
just dropped Nia off at day care and wanted to stay to eat dino nuggets and tater tots.   (11:42am October 2nd, 2009)
has purple candy corn! They are blackberry cobbler flavored. They admittedly look better than they taste.   (9:21pm September 30th, 2009)
is excited that her sister Jen's zygotes are mitosis-ing.   (7:31pm September 29th, 2009)
Mondays, ugh. What a crappy start to a new week.   (9:16am September 28th, 2009)
had a wonderful weekend. She is thankful for church, semi-cheating scrabble partners, my brother, caramel cheesecake bites at Del Taco, and a soft bed.   (2:42pm September 27th, 2009)
wonders if anyone else wants to play scrabble with me? Someone that isn't a walking dictionary is preferable.   (4:20pm September 26th, 2009)
cleaning and listening to Air1! Good times...well as good as you can get when you clean.   (11:24am September 26th, 2009)
is sleepy today! Why can't she be sleepy at night? :p   (8:58am September 26th, 2009)
is a little bored and not the least bit sleepy. Sad night. Reading the dictionary is right out though.   (11:36pm September 25th, 2009)
Movie canceled   (10:32pm September 25th, 2009)
is taking a supremely awesome person to the movies tonight. Happy birthday to you!   (7:32pm September 25th, 2009)
isn't doing so well at scrabble.   (10:28pm September 24th, 2009)

is home from Las Vegas. Fun fun day! Stoked about the new vendors we will be ordering from.   (7:35pm September 24th, 2009)
is at a souvenir and gift show in vegas. So fun!   (1:24pm September 24th, 2009)
is happily exhausted. Good day.   (9:12pm September 23rd, 2009)
Oh my gosh! Like a million people's birthday's are on Friday! What the heck is up with that? Someone mentioned that a lot of people that were conceived around New Year's Eve are being born this week... haha   (10:37am September 23rd, 2009)
is doing splendid. A great friend directed me to this scripture Galatians 5:22. It so fits my mood right now!!   (9:58am September 23rd, 2009)
loves cookie(s)! Translation: I'll take plural but I'll settle for one.   (12:01am September 23rd, 2009)
“Some of us look forward to a time in the future—salvation and exaltation in the world to come—but today is part of eternity.”   (9:57am September 22nd, 2009)
"Isn't it rather dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in a single sentence"   (9:34am September 22nd, 2009)
we won volleyball! Only because the other team didn't show up haha. We did play though and we had a lot of fun. Time to go grocery shopping and get ready for the missionaries to come over and give my 8 yr old son the first discussion! I need a refresher too.   (10:50am September 19th, 2009)

The hurdles I need to overcome in the near future

After an amazing lunch date with Corey Wilkey, I had some things coalesce in my mind. I live for these moments because they usually make good blog posts! My posts are sporadic lately because of the business of living life as a single mom. It's a lot more structured than I would like but it's necessary in order for me to survive.

Anyway, Corey and I were talking about some of the relationships in my past and why I'm a dork right now and the reasons I can't move on.  I got to thinking about the obstacles I will have to overcome in order to get to a place that I want to be.

First of all, I have to get my divorce finalized. It has been so long since I've been separated from my ex, that it feels like I'm already done but the fact of the matter is that the paperwork is still in limbo. It is driving me nuts. Some of the reasons for delay, is lack of finances, lack of interest in thinking about the actual steps in doing the paperwork, being overwhelmed with the paperwork, and life just being so busy it is hard to squeeze more into it. I am not sorry about my decision. It's been rough and I've questioned it a few times but I know that it's the right one for me. I AM sorry at the lives affected by the decision though. My children, my ex, and our families. Things seem to be calmer now than they have ever been though. The fact that he is in the army and stationed in North Carolina, has been a bit of an obstacle. The process servers never got the paperwork to him, so my lawyer finally just mailed it himself. It was signed and sent back. There is just one more thing for him to get done and sent back for it to be fully done and able to get signed off by a judge. I think that he just needs to find the time to get it done. He seems very busy with his job and the fact that they will be deploying soon. Probably January. I have mixed feelings about this but overall I just hope he makes it through sane and safe.

Now on to the subject of dating once that first hurdle is finally overcome. I'm stuck on the top of it and trying to figure out how to get down, probably because I'm short, although how I got up there in the first place is somewhat of a mystery!

I'm 30 years old. The thought of putting myself out in the dating world again is quite daunting. I hate being judged and found lacking. I hate having to be a judge of another person to see if they are compatible. I'm a pushover and I love easily. This is usually a good thing and it makes me good at my job. I also have quite the variety of friends and I love that.  The fact is, most eligible men my age, are scary in one way or another. There will be a small percentage that aren't, but I have to wade through the murky waters to find them. If a guy is single at my age it's probably because; a. He is too socially inept to have found a partner by now and is probably stuck in his bachelorhood for life and most likely prefers it that way. A partner would interfere with their gaming schedule ;) b. He is the reason his previous relationships never worked out and is most likely a jerk. c. There is something messed up in his head and he hasn't been able to get over whatever it was that caused it. Probably some heartless wench that took his heart and shattered it into a million pieces and then vacuumed it up to toss with the garbage. What are the chances that I'm going to find someone that I deserve amid that dating pool? Is there hope? Am I just pessimistic about the odds? So far, I haven't had much luck and my chances are looking grim the older I get.

Now if for some reason I can't get to the place I want to be and end up getting clotheslined by one of those hurdles, there is hope. The dating of guys counts as a ton of hurdles. It all depends on how long I'm stuck in that period of judgment. My friend Corey, he optimistically suggested that perhaps one of the 2000 stripling warriors in heaven, will be my future eternal companion. I laughed and thought to myself that I couldn't rule that out. Maybe I should hold out for the best. ;)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Currently...

I spend wasted hours thinking, wondering, hoping, imagining, and daydreaming about what my life would have been like with him. Why can't I stop doing this? It's been a year, what is wrong with me?

I don't believe that I'm a glutton for punishment. Was it true love, is that the problem? Maybe, maybe not. Most likely it is because my life feels like it is in stasis at the moment. I never had the chance to move on and find someone else to distract me from thinking of him. Maybe I will in the future. At one time I thought he was the one. Near the end, he said, I don't want you to be the right girl at the wrong time. Well the timing was definitely wrong. Maybe I wasn't the right girl either. I hope the right girl will come along and make him happy. I hope she can help fix what is wrong and be by his side for the ups and downs. I keep thinking that maybe it will be me. There was no sense of closure. It was just silence.  I keep trying to come up with what that silence meant. Dismissal? Indifference? Was there too much going on and I was just one more annoyance or distraction? I don't know. I hope not. It's hard not to believe otherwise. I try though.

I constantly look for things to distract me. I want to hear people's problems, so I don't have to concentrate on my own. I want to be social and part of people's life. It's difficult. I have a lot of obstacles to overcome. Time is one of them.

I work, take care of my kids, and then spend a few precious minutes after they are asleep to pursue other distractions. Reading, playing silly Facebook games, and chatting with friends. Lately, I fall asleep so quickly, or I stay up SO long because I can't stop thinking. I can't stop being lonely. I can't stop yearning for another anchor in reality. Those anchors keep me sane but sometimes it isn't enough. Maybe it's just not the right kind of anchor that I want. Maybe I don't need that anchor. Everything seems to push us towards couple-dom. Gee facebook, am I really that desperate that I need 3 different dating website ads on the side of my screen? Why can't we see ads that will make us feel better about being single? Being in a relationship with my other account fixed that. Blessed relief from the constant reminders that apparently I'm not doing it right.

Some days the pressures of life are overwhelming. I want someone to face it with me. I don't want to trudge through it alone. Quitting isn't an option. I just have to be patient. Trust that if I do all that I am supposed to, then everything will work out and happiness will be there. I feel moments of happiness. I feel tender moments of love and joy. I feel all the other, more negative, stuff too. I feel ungrateful for wanting more. Some days I am able to be glad and feel blessed for what I have. I wish it was easier to feel like that all the time. I wish I still had someone I could feel comfortable calling any hour of any day, so that I can cry or vent or share fun times with. There are people that are there to an extent, but the gap they can't fill, sometimes yawns wide. It isn't their fault. They just aren't the exact puzzle piece that can plug the hole in my defenses. Maybe that is impossible to find. Maybe I'm not praying hard enough.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Sacrament Meeting talk on Service

When I was asked to speak in church, I mentioned that I haven't done something like this since I was in Young Women's talking about my favorite scripture. Brother Prince reminded me I needed to speak for 15 minutes.

I've been asked to speak on service.

First I'd like to share one of my favorite scriptures.

Jacob 6:12
Oh be wise, what can I say more?

If I chose that as my favorite scripture, I would have a hard time filling up my 15 minutes. There is more to say on the subject of being wise though, it leads me into a very familiar scripture that most of you have heard about service.

And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.

It truly is wise to serve others. There are so many benefits for us. Especially if we are serving with pure intent and not to see how we can benefit from it.

It's hard for us to directly serve God, because he isn't here in person. Serving others is the perfect alternative! We not only show our love for God but we show it for people that are suffering through the trials of this life, just like we are. We can be a balm and help ease those sufferings, at the same time we can help ease our own.

When we are suffering and in pain, we tend to narrow our focus. We slowly lose the ability to care about those beyond the bounds of our own struggles. We become mired and self-involved. The more that happens, the more our pain affects us. It is a vicious cycle. When we look beyond ourselves and try to ease the burdens and suffering of those around us, our own burdens become lighter. We realize that our trials aren't as bad as we feel they are. We experience the joy of the service to others as well. We aren't as concentrated on the negative emotions we are experiencing. Just being a listening ear to a friend, showing an interest in their lives, is a service to them. There are so many different opportunities and ways to serve! Time and again the scriptures state that if we ask, our burdens will be made lighter. Your service to someone else could very well be the answer to that person's prayer.

When I was getting ready for church this morning, I prayed that I wouldn't be nervous. I prayed that I would say what I needed to say. I kept going over things in my head. I felt impressed to share something extra. I grabbed a pencil and the nearest thing to write on was the back of a greeting card. It was from my mother and she gave it to me when I was having a really rough time. She just told me how spiritual and special I am and that I would get through this.

I'm a single mother raising two children. I was inactive for over ten years. I had a hard time giving the church a chance. I'm a shy person. I felt the church was invasive. I wanted to be left alone in my worship. I didn't want to give talks, have a calling, or even talk to people. I wanted to come to church and feel the spirit then go home. One time I was complaining about it to my aunt, I must have sounded so petty. She told me that having a testimony was like the embers in a fire. If one is off by itself, it grows cold and goes out. Having the other embers around keeps them stronger and going longer. After I left my ex, I decided I was going to try every day to be a better person and a better mother. I wanted to raise my children the way I was raised, in the church with positive influences around them. I read the Book of Mormon all the way through in about a month. I wanted to make sure that I was following the right path. I never really knew if the church was true, I hadn't developed my own testimony when I was young. I lived on borrowed testimonies. I had so much fun reading the Book of Mormon again and hearing the stories I was taught as a child. Suddenly they weren't stories to me, they were accounts of real people and their struggles. It was really powerful to me. I felt so much peace reading the scriptures, that I knew that my decision to come back to church was the right one. The time the missionaries spent with my family was a great blessing. I'm grateful for the kindness of the ward members. I've always felt like I've belonged here. That was a service to me and it helped me during a lot of rough patches. The adversary didn't like the direction I decided to go. He tried to steer me away many times. You can never know the affect you can have on others with just a simple smile when it is easier to walk by without a glance.

Service comes in many forms. We are needed to complete the Lord's work here on Earth. Missionaries serve others for 2 straight years of their lives. They help so many others and in the process they change, profoundly. They gain an appreciation and love for others through their service. One missionary said this, "Serving your fellow men is the same as serving God. Serving is really the key to coming to know Jesus Christ. That’s why we serve people wherever we can.”

Knowing Jesus Christ helps us to become more like him. He is our shepherd and He leads us. Through His example, we can see how to pattern our own lives. His whole life was spent serving others. The scriptures are an account of His life and a guide for our own. It's like an open book test!

I read a quote about service that I really loved. I would tell you who said it but I can't pronounce his name.
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.

I know that this is true. I am blessed to work in a job that helps people. I see the benefits daily. My boss is someone I look up to. He has a true spirit of service. I was joking with him earlier about this talk I had to give. He was trying to make me feel better by saying, well if you don't do a good job, they won't make you talk again for a long time! He really does make our work place a very pleasant and fun place to be. When he was hired, I asked him what made him decide to work here because it isn't the easiest job out there. He shared with me his story. He watched the movie "The Ultimate Gift" and he said it changed his perspective on life. He wanted to make a difference and help people. The job opening was only up for a week. He was sitting at his desk and decided right then he was going to get a different job. He thought about where he could work that would be more meaningful. He decided on the school district or the hospital. He opened up the web site and saw the job listing and applied for it. He ended up taking the job. He now makes 20k less a year so that his job will be meaningful to him and make a difference in people's lives. I hear people's stories every day and I KNOW that I am making a difference too. One woman came in from the Dove center. She was probably trying to get out of an abusive relationship. She had 2 children and she desperately needed church clothing for all of them. They only allocate a certain amount in a voucher but I was able to make sure she had what she needed. It made me so grateful for my family and the help that I receive on a daily basis. I didn't have to escape an abusive relationship and I don't have to do everything alone either. I am blessed to have help. This job helps me to see how bad things could have been though and I'm grateful for what I do have. I'm so thankful that my children don't need anything. Serving others gives you that perspective. I don't get paid much and sometimes it is a thankless job, but there are days when those people come in and they are so truly grateful for what we do and it makes it all worth it. I come home and my burdens feel lighter because I witness those whose burdens seem staggering. I hope that what I do, helps lift them up and give them hope. I heard another woman say that if it wasn't for us or the programs we have at our store, she wouldn't have sheets on her bed.

I want to share this story about someone who wanted to be thoughtful and help someone else.

A few years ago a friend of mine was going through a difficult separation from her husband. She swore she still loved him but his actions had hurt her deeply. It was Christmas and my friend's husband had been away for a few months. The family was large-they had six children-and I wondered how my friend and her brood were going to make it through the Christmas season. Not only because of their recent lack of money, but more importantly, because their father would not be as closely woven into the festivities this year as in previous years.

After discussing the problem briefly with my young children, we decided that what the family needed was some plain and simple fun.

We purchased some tickets for a local sporting event, bought a card, and planned a day to deliver the surprise. As an afterthought we decided to buy a potted plant-nothing fancy, but my children thought the purple blooms were beautiful.

When the day arrived to deliver the gifts, all hearts were beating in anticipation. Eagerly my husband and I walked, while the children rushed to the door. We were greeted by three of her small children. Behind them stood their mother. She invited us in.

"We thought you'd like this," I began, the potted plant held snugly under one arm. She reached for the plant, but what I'd meant to give her was the tickets in the crisp, white envelope.

Suddenly, my friend burst into tears. "How did you know?" she said, taking the potted plant in her hands. Tears were streaming down her face and I had no idea what to say. Neither did any of my family members.

"Today is my wedding anniversary. He always buys me flowers. But this year." Her wedding anniversary?

My friend's voice trailed off and I felt the lump that had entered my throat grow into mammoth size. I wondered if she was angry that we'd made her remember her special day. I wondered why we'd purchased that stupid plant.

But her next words surprised me even more than her first revelation. "Thank you for helping me to remember."

I blinked my eyes, realizing that a few tears had begun to accumulate on my own eyelashes. I wiped them with the back of my hand, and almost as an afterthought, handed my friend the tickets, explaining what they were. As we left, she thanked us again for our thoughtfulness.

I walked outside in a daze. What had just happened? But the true gift was unmistakable.

Let the spirit prompt you when you are serving others. The spirit will help you to provide what that person really needs. That simple plant made such a difference to that woman. It reminded her of some of the good times in her marriage and as a result could be something that brings her and her husband closer together again.

Service can be as simple as being a friend to others. It can be sacrificing 2 years of your life to be a missionary. You can do genealogy and find hundreds of names that need their work done. You can attend the temple and help complete the work of all those names. You can help a neighbor in need with yard work or meals when they are unable to do it themselves. You can help take care of someone's kids so they can have a chance to go on a date with their spouse.

I am also lucky to work with volunteers. They spend hours at the Thrift Store and they don't get paid for it. I love their example and it helps me to work harder. I've heard that for those volunteers that are older, their lives are longer. It gives them something to look forward to and live for. They have purpose in their lives and they feel needed. I'm sure it helps ease some loneliness as well. They are such great people. It is amazing to be surrounded by selfless people. Their service and sacrifice is such an inspiration to me and to others. I love talking about my job because of all those people and the service we do for others.

I hope that we can all find ways to be of service to others. I know that this is what Heavenly Father would want us to do.

*Testimony* I'm grateful to be a member of the church, I'm grateful that no matter how tough life gets, we have the church and the gospel to guide us and be our island of calm and assurance. I know that this church is true. I am grateful for the guidance of a true prophet of God. I'm grateful for the scriptures and the guidance they can give us if we will read them and let them be a part of our lives. I'm so grateful for God's presence in my life. Just knowing there is someone there that will always listen and always look out for me, makes my burdens lighter. I know I'm not alone. I pray that we can keep other's ember's warm and lit. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


Sunday, June 13, 2010

My guilty pleasures!

I read someone else's blog post about their guilty pleasures. This person put them out in the open so that maybe they wouldn't have to feel quite so guilty if people knew about them. I thought it was a GREAT idea! So I'm going to write mine down. I don't really have an order and I'm really a random person so I guess I will just write them down as I think of them.

#1. I like romance novels. Especially the cheesy fantasy based ones. The more supernatural powers and fantastical ideas, the better!

#2. I am addicted to gum. If I see a new flavor, I have to buy it. I can't resist. I also have a problem with swallowing my gum. I'm kind of a ding bat and I forget I'm chewing it and the next thing I know, it's gone. If I don't concentrate on it, I guess my body thinks it's food instead of something to keep my jaw busy.

#3. I'm attracted to geeks. I have tried to deny this, but I can't. They are just so dang cute! They are awkward and smart all at the same time. It's just adorable. I have this idea that they are so grateful when a girl pays attention to them and will treat her like she deserves because they can't believe that they rolled a 20 and they better take advantage of their luck! Next time it could be a 1 and that very well could mean their death.

#4. I love compliments. I never know how to respond to them, but I love them and I admit that I will seek them out more than I probably should. Here is a secret though, the best way is to be free with compliments yourself but make sure they are well thought out and sincere.

#5. I hate organizing. My room is pleasantly chaotic and I feel comfortable in it. That's the way my brain works. Sometimes the brain drives me nuts because I have a hard time focusing. I write to help me organize my thoughts. Organizing my room is an entirely different matter and not nearly as enjoyable as writing. I organize so much at work that it's hard to do it at home. Whoops I forgot to write a guilty pleasure on this one, I was just admitting a fault. I like hanging out with gay guys. They are funny, honest, and refreshingly themselves.

#6. I love talking about my problems with the hope that in some small way it can do some good. I read this really funny quote that said something like, If you can't be a good example, be a really horrible warning. I am so open about the mistakes in my past because I hope it can be a horrible warning to the young people I interact with in my life.

#7. I love bright funky socks, fingernail polish, and dangling earrings. At least they are small items and don't cost a ton, so when I spend money on them I don't feel TOO guilty.

#8. I talk a lot. Maybe I hope some of the things coming out of my mouth will be funny and I can make someone laugh. If I'm quiet, it's usually because I'm either editing myself, something is wrong, or I just don't know you well enough to burden you with the strong force of my personality. I can be a little bit overwhelming sometimes. If I have a strong opinion about something, I will tell it to you. I am also extremely honest. Growing up and getting to be a better person is sometimes a painful process. You have to be honest with yourself and your faults in order to overcome them.

#9. I LOVE when someone spends time thinking about me or talking to me or spending time with me. I have a deep need to be needed by others and it makes me feel a little more worthy of the Earth's precious oxygen.

#10. I love laughing. I laugh easily. If you want to feel funny, come tell me a joke. Even if it is stupid, I'll laugh. Keep the jokes clean though. I'm trying to keep my mind out of the gutter! It falls in there too easily for me to invite those kind of things into my head on purpose!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Being an adult...I don't remember signing up for this.

When you meet someone and start dating, how is everything supposed to happen? Do you work up to loving them or do you feel an almost instant love and spend the dating time waiting for the shoe to drop? Is there a right way?

Someone asked me if I felt that the person I was dating, was "The one". I replied that of course I thought they were the one. That's why I was still dating them. You break up when you realize they aren't the one, right? Or they throw the other shoe in your face instead of waiting for it to drop.

It's hard to let go of something like that. I feel as if I'm making progress and then something happens to jar my equilibrium. They send me a text saying hi. Or their family chats with me and I can't help but link them to him. One day you find out they have been terribly ill. Then you think about them MORE and you are worried about them. Praying for them to make it through. All the while, just falling back down into that hole you had been clawing to get out of.

Sometimes, Love Stinks.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Liking yourself

I'm not talking about liking what you see when you look in the mirror. That is a whole different post and something I haven't mastered yet. It will be something I am going to be working on though. I saw a cute status about it though that someone had put on facebook.

"My body is not perfect... but I nurtured my babies and I am proud! Too bad if we don't look perfect... but every mark, every line, and every bit of skin represents our beautiful babies and what we have done for them. Having a baby is no easy task! We are strong, we are brave, and we should be proud of ourselves."
I think that is a good place to start with that next goal of mine. :)

Anyway, back to the original reason for this post. Do you like who you are? Not what you look like but who you are on the inside? Why?

There is always some good and some bad in people. We are told over and over that no one is perfect. Except for Jesus of course. I like to believe that we have what it takes to become like him someday.

I haven't always liked who I was. I thought I was clumsy, forgetful, flawed, impatient, and basically just not good enough. It was frustrating to me and it also felt hopeless. There were a few events that happened in my life to shake it up a bit. Little by little I started taking those hard first steps forward. I found a path to self-improvement. I think I stumbled upon it because I was just so flippin tired of lies. There were lies all around me. It felt like a way of life even though I tried not to buy in. It was infinitely easier to lie to myself though. I lied to myself that I was happy. I was content with the direction that life was going. I convinced myself that I wasn't good enough for better and that I would be ok with what I had. I settled for a life that I knew deep down wasn't what I should have been doing. I was a casual observer because of the guilt I felt. It was easier to distance myself and just live a half-life. There was too much pain and it wasn't really happening to me. I am naturally forgetful but I started forgetting important events because I had somehow convinced myself that just observing was the way to go. I got really scared. I didn't want my life to be something muted and distant. I didn't want to forget the happy times with my children. I actually wanted to FEEL something. It seemed like I only really felt negative emotions, even though I tried to hide from them. It didn't really work. I still suffered through them but I did succeed in hiding from happiness and joy.

So how did I fix this? I am not really sure but I think that just becoming aware of the problem helped a lot. Eventually I worked up to being able to be brutally honest with myself. There is a fine line between low self-esteem and honestly admitting to your faults. I'm sure I fell off that line quite often. If it just felt hopeless or depressing, then I was going at it wrong. If it felt constructive and gave me hope that I was actually accomplishing something, then I knew I was doing it right. At first it was easier to work baby steps and concentrate on the easy to fix problems but eventually I ran out of those and knew that there was a whopper of a problem that I was avoiding. I didn't fix that problem out of the blue. There were several catalysts that kicked me into gear and almost forced me to make the hard decisions that I knew I should have made long ago. I lied to myself for a long time and justified my previous actions. I was out of chances and knew I needed to shape myself up. It felt out of my hands at the time but I'm so glad that events conspired to bring me to where I am now. Trials can bring out the best or they can bring out the worst. YOU decide how they are going to affect you. I indulged a lot in a poor me attitude. That's ok up to a point. There comes a time though that you have to snap out of it and move on with your life. Hopefully it's going in a forward motion. My favorite choir teacher used to say something to the effect that you can't stay in one spot. You are either moving forward or falling back. It really is true.

I like myself because I feel like I am moving in a forward motion most of the time. I'm honest with the things I need to work on and it gives me a goal. I also like myself because of my strengths and my talents. There were a few hidden ones that I never knew I had but life can surprise you in good ways too.